I Can't Love You Back
by MsliveforChrist
Summary: Songfic to Easten Corbin's "I Can't Love You Back." Neal misses Kate.


**I Can't Love You Back  
****I own nothing but the story.**

_I can love you in the morning _

Kate.  
She was the first thought on his mind in the morning. It's her that occupies his thoughts as he floats through the motions of getting dressed.

_I can love you all day_

Neal leaned back in his chair and sighed. He pulled out her picture, laid it on top of the files he was supposed to be completing, and stared. Her beautiful crystal blue eyes seemed to stare right back at him, piercing his soul and filling his heart with love. Slowly he slid the picture back in his pocket, straightened his suit and returned to his facade of work.

_I can love you even more when I get home _

Arriving home from the office was seemingly insignificant however there was an instant change for Neal. No longer distracted by the thought consuming moments of the work day he was free to let his thoughts linger on his love for as long as he desired.

_I can love you every second  
to the ends of the earth_

He was infatuated with her. Every second of every day he adores her. The flowers smell like her perfume, the curtains are the same color as her eyes, and his silk tie feels the same as the strands of her hair.

_Where needing you's the only thing that's on  
my broken one track mind_

He needed her. That was all. Not air, not water, not food. Just her.

_Girl, I love you crazy  
It comes so easy, after all we had_

Missing her was hard. Not thinking of her was hard. But loving her was never hard, and it never will be. Not after the hours, days, and weeks spent together. The wine bottle and all the cheap wine it had hosted. The smiles, the tears, the hopes, and the dreams. The first day and the last day. No, loving her will never be hard.

_I could love you with all my heart  
But the hardest part is  
I just can't love you back_

Every part of his being loved her at every moment of the day. Nevertheless, it's not enough. No matter how much he loved her it would never bring her back.

_I could write a thousand letters_

Dear Kate,

I miss you more and more every day. I wish you were still here. We were so close to having it all, but now you're gone and none of that matters. Nothing matters anymore. I was going to propose. Would you have said yes? I keep hoping that it's all a dream, and I'm going to wake up on some island with you by my side. I'll never forget you. I love you

Forever and Always,  
Neal

He folded the letter then hid it with the countless others as he wept.

_Call a hundred times a day_

"You've reached Kate Monroe, please leave a message and I'll get back to you"  
"Hey Kate, I needed to hear your voice again. I wish you would hurry up and get back to me, because I miss you. A lot. I love you.

_Or try to drown my sorrow at the bar_

He stared down at the empty wine bottle and sobbed, it wasn't enough. He can't escape her memory. The tears roll down his cheek as he stumbles to his cabinet to fetch another bottle of wine to suppress the gaping hole in his chest.

_I could go down to the church  
Get on my knees and pray_

Neal was at his whit's end. Standing in front of the church he and Peter had visited during the Dutchman case he decided to attempt prayer. Walking inside and down to the alter felt awkward but he continued until he was standing at the altar. Sinking down to his knees he began to pray.  
"Dear God,  
I know I don't really pray much, but I miss her, so if you could bring her back then that'd be great.  
Amen"

_But it still won't change the way things really are  
Won't bring you back again_

There is nothing that could bring her back to him. No prayer or magic spell was going to make Kate reappear. Nothing could change the truth of her death.

_Girl, I love you crazy  
It comes so easy, after all we had  
I could love you with all my heart  
But the hardest part is  
I just can't love you back_

The hardest part of loving her is that it will never bring her back to him. He can and does love her with everything he has, but he'll never be able to bring her back.

_I can love you for all I'm worth  
To the ends of the earth  
But I just can't love you back_

"I love you. I miss you"  
Neal put tenderly put the flowers on her grave and walked away. He loves her with everything, but it will never bring her back.

**PLEASE COMMENT. I hope you liked it but even if you didn't please leave me a comment so I can be a better writer****. **


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